Lily

Hello,

I know you don’t want to hear from me, and I completely understand that. But I just want to say a few final things I should have said a long time ago. I’m not trying to reopen anything, I just want to take responsibility for my actions and thank you properly before leaving your world forever.

You were right about me. I acted selfishly and carelessly. What I thought was “trying” must’ve felt invasive or overwhelming, and I’m truly sorry for making you uncomfortable. You didn’t deserve that. I just wanted to reconcile, but that was selfish of me to do.

Looking back, I realize I handled everything wrong. I disappeared when I should’ve been honest. I made excuses instead of owning up to my actions. You gave me more patience and understanding than I earned, and I didn’t treat that with the respect it deserved. That’s my fault.

I was just so excited to talk to you again, but that excitement quickly turned into fear, envy, and then regret. I didn’t know how to express what I felt directly, and I couldn’t find the courage to speak seriously, i couldnt find the right words to say, because I didnt anticipate our conversion would be so hostile, I messed up, and i feel numb. You were right — it was selfish, pathetic, and ridiculous. But the truth is, I didn’t want to give up. Even when I probably should have, I still wanted to keep reaching for you, but I didn't know how to.

I just missed you so so much. And this entire year, I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and I really wanted to keep talking to you again, because you’re incredible, and I should’ve done more to get to have you all myself again.

You asked me if you were just a rebound, and to be real with you, maybe that’s true - but to me, you were never just that. You reminded me what it feels like to care, to laugh, to feel seen. I was at my lowest then, and I didn’t realize what I had until I lost you. I wish I could've taken more initiative to be better for you, and I'm sorry. I should have been a better friend to you.

You’re different from anyone I’ve met - smarter, kinder, stronger, and genuinely beautiful inside and out. You light up a room just by being yourself, and I hope you never forget how amazing you are. You helped me rediscover a confidence I thought I’d lost and made me want to be better. Even though I failed to show it then, I carry that lesson with me now. I can’t thank you enough for the time you gave me, even if I didn’t deserve it.

I wanted to be friends with you because you're incredible, and I valued our friendship deeply. You showed up for me during one of my hardest times without judgment, and that meant everything to me. I want you to know I'm here for you in the same way. You're someone truly special, and I just wanted for us to stay connected.

I know I’m probably seen as a piece of shit, and you have every right to think that. I just wish I’d had the chance to be better for you while I still had you. Some parts of me are still lost, but remembering you - and the kindness you showed me - helps me heal. I don’t usually let people in, but with you, it was different, and I’ll never know why, because if it was anyone else, i wouldnt have came back and i would have accepted when you blocked me.

Im still putting myself back together, so thank you for being there for me then. I wont ever forget your kindness. I remember, on our one month.. and I will never forget our moment together.

I know you’ve moved on, and I respect that completely. I hope Sean treats you with the patience, kindness, and gentleness you give so freely. You deserve nothing less. I hope he recognizes how incredible you are every second.

I’m not writing this to ask for anything - not forgiveness, not another chance - just to say I’m sorry and that I truly wish you happiness. You deserve peace, and I’ll step back so you can have that.

Thank you for being a part of my life, even for a short time. You’re unforgettable - not because of how things ended, but because of who you are, and I know the person I met after Valentine’s Day is still there.

Take care of yourself, always. And please, never forget how amazing you are. I’m sorry, truly.

Thanks for our chapter together, now go and write a beautiful new one..

Goodbye, Lily.